Being too Available

I realised this week that I become utterly and completely insecure in the early days of a relationship. And to say this irritates me is an understatement!
It dawned on me today that because of my aversion to being “abandoned” or left wondering  I try my hardest to never do this to any man in my life.
And so it is you will find me carrying my phone on me 24/8.
I get my emails and texts instantly. So he texts me,I text straight back. He emails, I email back immediately. He logs into skype – I’m logged in too..  He calls, I’ll break my neck to answer.
I’m always “available”.
And if I should happen to actually miss a call, then as soon as I realise – I’m all over it like a cheap suit, frantically calling in an attempt to fix the ‘breakdown’ in comms that took place .. because heaven forbid he should experience what I loathe, after all!
Aren’t I nice?
Yeah except for 2 things ..
1. He probably doesn’t actually object to my not replying within 0.04 seconds to every single communique he sends. And he’s probably clever enough to realise there will be times when I cannot answer the phone. It’s called “life” .. And I could just be allowed to have one..
And worse;
2. I suspect that my actions potentially devalue me in his eyes.. Because as we all know: the more scarce the commodity, the more sought after it is.
And so as we head into day 13 of Ms Ignoring holiday, of no time spent together and sporadic (at best!) comes – I feel this neat thrill at having recognized a pattern problem for me.
Sure, I may not know quite how to stop it from rearing its ugly head, but I figure at least if I’m aware of it, then hopefully progress can be made