Speed dating

This guy had sent me 1 message saying “hi” and I duly responded with “Hi back” or something equally as scintillating .. Obviously my “play hard to get” ploy worked and his somewhat .. uh, enthusiastic (?) response is pasted below for your .. bemusement..

Where do I find them.. or HOW do they all find me, more to the point .. Sheesh! To make it easier to read I have inserted the occasional space, his original didn’t have any – which kinda made me want to stab myself in the eyes as I read it! Aren’t I good to you lot?

Read on:

Hi Dear,

I would like to use this privilege to tell you more about myself.

Well, my dad was originally from Aberdeen, United Kingdom but he nationalize in Switzerland where we use as our permanent home.

We spent most of our time in Switzerland and  my daughter and my mum lives there too, I grew up in different countries, I grew up in communist Bulgaria, but I’m happy because I had great childhood. I see how my parents love each other, and Presently I came to Aberdeen alone I speak with a Bulgarian accent, I hope you like this?

Because, when I came to this country I only spoke two words..

Thank I show my personality by working hard, for this reason, people respect me.

I will like to tell you more about myself but where do i start from okay,, United Kingdom.

I am the only son of my family and was born and brought up in a devoted christian family. I married but my wife passed away in an accident,

It all happened to me just like a dream. I have one daughter and she is 10 years old now. Her name is Tina, hope you will love her?.

I will like to talk about my job,i work in a ship and am the director of operations.

And my duties is to Act in the best interests of the company and in good faith at all times.

Prepares proposals for support of ship operations and for the acquisition of shipboard equipment and shipboard scientific equipment.

Recommends and implements policies pertaining to marine personnel and vessel operation. Maintains records of vessel utilization, structures, and regulatory and inspecting agency compliance. .

I would like to open up my heart to you, but I may lack the skill, or I’m short  for words, because my heart harbors so many good feelings towards you, that the dictionary seems to short to express all this,

My late father was a devoted christian and a philanthropist also a full time international contractor based in Asia, (Engineer) He worked in various ministries and organizations in the past and assisted many christian organizations both spiritually and financially.

Before enclosing this message, I would like to let you know that distance has nothing to do with our Friendship as long as god is there with us. I can come and meet with you wherever you are or will have you invited here. It may interest you to know that I prefer one-on-one conversation.

I am really interested in wanting to know about what makes you the special person you are today, I want to know more about your family,your background, your life experiences, past relationships, your goals and dreams, your interests, and anything else you want to tell me.

I even want to learn about the secrets you very rarely share with someone!.

So come on and share it all with me,about your country and what you working as ?

this is my cell phone no +447017962156,i will like to have some of your pictures and your cell phone number too.Well, remain blessed until I hear from you.

Your sincerely,

Dennis

So, dear readers I do hope you will all attend the wedding soon?! I was literally  lost of idea for this mature man. Hopes he will get the best one soon.
I’m not interesting L